And so a journey commences... A quest for the Key Of Life.

The quest for a great life.

I've been mentoring people for 20 years now. I've literally helped thousands of individuals make a difference, create serious change in their lives, grow, expand, perhaps step out of a toxic relationship, and find a meaning in life.
It fills me with joy, a sense of accomplishment, and fulfillment.
I live for that energy!

However, it wasn't always like this.

Pilot? In your dreams...

I was raised by a couple of wonderful parents - warm, caring and loving. They provided me with everything I needed, but nothing truly prepared me for this life. Instead of managing my own life, life seemed to manage me.

At 18, I had a huge dream. I dreamt of becoming a combat pilot in the Air Force. When I enlisted in the Army, I went through a rigorous, really harsh sorting process. These were three extremely demanding weeks, both physically and mentally.
I got accepted to combat school!!!

But because of puny, stupid reasons, nothing that really mattered, I gave up. I quit and went back home. I still remember my father with a shocked look on his face, shaking his head and asking me, "why, why did you quit?"
I stood there like a dummy, not knowing what to answer, because there wasn't any serious, real reason. I simply allowed the little things in life to manage me.

Life was managing me.

I kept on living like that for years. It affected every realm of my life - relationships, my work attitude and my achievements.
I got married for all the very wrong reasons and very quickly realized my mistake. The relationship was poor, to say the least, but lacking any real control over the course of my life, I stayed in it, trying in vain to make it work.
I was miserable.
I was alone.
I was escaping. I spent entire weekends away from home and family, riding my mountain bike out in nature. It's not that I didn't enjoy it, but I was actually escaping life.
Years later, stuck in that toxic relationship and in that kind of a miserable life, I moved to Connecticut, USA, to work for a biotechnology company as a Bioinformatics scientist.

The revelation of my private "Gandalf"

One day I needed a publication for my work. I can't even remember what it was... maybe an article or a book.
I went into the company library in search, and my hand miraculously reached for a book on the shelf.
I opened the book and the pages were literally speaking to me. The letters were dangling in front of my eyes. The first few pages perfectly described the misery in my life. I couldn't have identified with it more.
This book knew everything - everything I was missing in life.
I was mesmerized.
I was hypnotized.
I stood there reading and just couldn't stop.
The book read "every time you think the problem is 'out there', that very thought is the problem." And those words caught me!
I stood there in the aisle for two long hours, unable to stop reading. Eventually, I borrowed the book and went home.
That very day I fell ill for three whole days.

Nothing happens by chance.

For three consecutive days, I just read the book over and over again. I didn't read the entire book. I would read a chapter, then go back and read it again. Every sentence touched my innermost being and changed my perspective on life. From that day on, my life was never the same.

I met my greatest mentor ever, Stephen R. Covey, through that book: "The seven habits of highly effective people."
That was the book that changed my life, and Stephen became my private "Gandalf", illuminating my dark and gloomy path.
Ever since that day, my life transformed.
I learned many valuable lessons. The most important was the lesson of personal responsibility.

And so, my friends, I invite you to join me on your new journey - a journey on a new path. It's a fascinating path. A path of expansion, of empowerment and change - a serious change in life. It's a path of no turning back. On this path with me, I'll shed the light, and you will walk the path.

What is personal responsibility?

So what is personal responsibility?
Personal responsibility is a huge, deep topic. There are different opinions, different definitions, different points of view. You can't define it in one sentence, or even in one paragraph.
But here's what I learned back then from that magical book by Stephen. I must admit, this is a very basic definition. Over the years I have clarified and perfected my own deep, highly spiritual understanding of the concept. But we must begin with the basics.

Everything you have in your life right now - every result, everything you are missing, whatever you evaluate as bad, whatever you evaluate as good, every situation, every condition, every possession, every outcome - is a result of your past decisions. Whether this past is five minutes ago, five days ago, five months, 50 years, it matters not.
This even includes those situations where you decided not to decide. You see, when you don't decide, you are actually making a decision not to decide. Ans almost always, the result will be to your disadvantage.

Everything is a result of your past decisions.
You have to own it!
Only when you own it - really own it - when you assimilate it into every cell of your body, in your DNA - "Yes, it was me." "Yes, I'm in charge." "It was my decision that brought me here." Only when you totally own it, you realize that every decision you make now, no matter small you judge it as, will determine the course of the rest of your life.
This is so prevailing!

Oftentimes my clients struggle with this.
They say, "me?" "I chose all of that?" "I chose the driver's road rage on the road?" "I chose Jenny's office anger? or my miserable boss's decisions?" "I'm in charge of that?"
It's inconceivable to them that they somehow summoned an unwanted reality, as if they had intended to. I have to explain that one must assume total responsibility - even for their own subconscious decisions. Otherwise, they aren't truly in charge.
It's a large, bitter pill to swallow.

Only then does the realization comes - you can truly be in charge of your life through your decisions! When you fully comprehend and practice this, you assume genuine control over the course of your life. That's when you actually begin to create your dream reality.

Captain Jack Sparrow teaches personal responsibility.

Let me ask you a question.
Would you imagine sailing a one-million-dollar yacht through the marina without holding the steering wheel? I bet you wouldn't.
Now, imagine yourself standing on a the deck of a ship. I like to recall Johnny Depp in 'Pirates of the Caribbean', swaying from side to side, half-drunk, yelling commands at his crew. You might imagine that kind of ship.
This ship is in stormy waters - high waves, rocks, and sandbanks all around, threatening to pierce its sides, even break it up.

You're just standing there, watching the steering wheel spin wildly from side to side, yet, don't grab hold of it. You're in great, obvious danger, but still, you don't step forward and take the wheel.
Why? Because it's frightening!
It is terrifying to take that step and grab hold of the wheel.
Obviously, you could get hit by that spinning wheel. But much more than that, when you take control of that wheel, you're in charge! There's no one else to blame!

This is exactly the same with the ship of your life!
If you don't grab hold of that steering wheel, who will steer? Who will manage your life? And once you take hold of that steering wheel, there should be NO excuses, You are the only one in charge of your life.
When you take control of that wheel, where will you look? If you focus on those rocks and sandbanks threatening to blow your ship away, you’ll steer the ship toward them. That's how it works. If you ride a bicycle and constantly look to the right, you'll crash to the right. This means that if you focus solely on your current storm, you'll end up crashing into it.

Instead, you gaze at the horizon! Whatever you want to reach within a month, a year, 10 years, a 100 years - that is your own horizon.
I plan to live at least 144 years of age, in great shape and health, still contributing to society. That's where I'm looking at. This is my horizon.

Where is your horizon?
Whenever you blame others for what happens in your life, you are not holding the steering wheel!

Somebody ate it... Somebody drank it...

When I was in basic training, we had that humorous expression: "somebody ate it, somebody drank it."
We used to stand in formation, and the commanding officer would check our water canteens to see if they were completely full.
There was always that one sloppy soldier with a half-empty canteen, apologizing: "Sir, somebody drank the water." So we used to joke, "Somebody ate it, somebody drank it." "It was in the kit bag, the kit bag was on the truck, the truck drove away..." Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Jokes aside - this is the reality of someone lacking personal responsibility. They always blame others for their troubles.

It's not because someone did something. It is not your genetics. It' i's not what your father did or what your mom told or taught you. It's not how you were educated. It’s not because of your environment, and it's not the government either!
It is all within you!!!
Just like Stephen said, "every time you think the problem is 'out there', that very thought is the problem."
Always look inside.

Personal responsibility is TOTAL!

There's no such thing as being "just a little bit" without personal responsibility. There are no cheat days, no cheat moments, it's impossible.
It only takes "a little drink", while sitting behind the steering wheel to get yourself killed, perhaps killing others along the way.

Being in total, unequivocal personal responsibility provides you with confidence. Even when the surrounding environment is not in your favor (and it often isn't), it provides you with great confidence because your choices will determine what happens to you. This offers a sense of genuine control.

A whole person, (we'll explore that definition as we move along our journey) is accustomed to being fully aware of their own choices.
When you're fully aware of your choices, you truly feel that your life is a precise reflection of your choices.
You wake up in the morning and say to yourself, "Wow, yes, that's the life I planned.""
It's not one-to-one, it's not precise. But generally speaking, you examine your life and feel that things are according to plan. This is how you envisioned it, and it all came to fruition through your choices.
When you reach that stage, you are so self-assured, knowing that every choice gives you full control over the course of your life.

No turning back!

I can testify from my own experience. Nowadays, I can't even think of doing anything without total personal responsibility. I can't go back.

Not long ago, I had a session with an amazing young woman. I explained personal responsibility in detail, and we really delved deep into it.
When the session was over, she got up and said, "you know, I hope I'll make it. I hope I'll learn that lesson."
I responded, "listen, who's hoping?" She looked at me, bewildered. "What do you mean?" I asked again, "who's hoping? Who needs to hope?" She couldn't understand my intention.

I said, "When you buy a lottery ticket, you hope, because once you purchased it,it's all up to fate, or luck, or whatever you wish to call it. You can't control the results, so you hope. But here, you don't need to hope. You need to know. When you're determined to live a life of personal responsibility - you will make it! It might not happen in a week or a month, but it requires constant practice. You'll get there. Be sure of it."

And you, my friends, are you hoping? Or are you determined to live a life of total personal responsibility?
I hope you liked our brief journey together.

Always remember: Dare To Be You!!!